One Yes at a Time

"The life of Mary shows that great things, important things, always begin with someone saying yes to God, and then moving along one yes at a time. Keep in mind that your whole life is holy ground to keep yourself open to the wonderful opportunities He has planned for you."

Joanna Weaver 

Mindful Attention to a Need for Self-Importance

Contentment is about resting, about removing ourselves from the vain strivings of the world and finding peace and quiet in God's will. 

-Gary Thomas, "Authentic Faith"

Don't you love it when you read a passage from Scripture or from a saintly person, and God pokes you with a "This means you!"  That happened to me this morning with a meditation passage from Frances de Sales that said:  "Nothing stands in the way of our spiritual growth more than self-love or a sense of self-importance." 

I can no more get rid of my need for recognition than I can change my fingers.  I need God's grace to do so, and I've confessed and asked for grace.  But as I mindfully look at my day today, I see that I haven't made much progress in the self-importance front.  Indeed, I internally complain about a pattern in my career in which others have gotten credit for my work.  

Perhaps that is why it happens a lot.  The Lord is trying to work out my own need for recognition, trying to help me to find contentment.

I loved Gary Thomas' quote above, although I have to say that doing God's Will hasn't been the fast track to peace and quiet for me.  But I do need to remember, as Frances de Sales points out: "We have come to expect that our prayers - our life - should be steeped in orange water, our virtues nourished by a diet of candy. As a result we forget Jesus prostrate on the ground, sweating blood and water in agony, because of the deadly conflict in his soul. Self-love blinds us, makes us forget how it really is."

 

Christian Mindfulness at Lent

Considering that I just discovered that I booked my annual Florida Keys vacation with the hotel on one week and the air travel on the next, I'm not sure I should be writing about Christian mindfulness today.  But all is fixed ... at a price ... and I promise to pay more attention the next time. Paying attention is just about everything there is to say about mindfulness. As I move forward, I want to enjoy this Lent as a time to grow intentionally closer to God and to ask for the grace of contentment.

One way I do so is to replace my regular reading material with spiritual books.  This time they are:

"The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection: My copy was given to me in the 1977 by a fellow journalist in Tupelo, MS. I've read and re-read it. In my 20s, I was disappointed with the content. Today, nearly 40 years later, I ponder its words in wonder and hope.  It is the central text for Christian mindfulness.

"Motherhood and God" by Margaret Hebblethwaite:  My yellowed paperback copy is from 1984.  The first line:  "This book is about finding God in motherhood, and finding motherhood in God."  I found it profound while dealing with my two-year-old daughter.  Today, I know more than ever that I found God in motherhood, and I am eager to see if it holds up.  After all, I've shuffled this book across the country from house to house.  Yet this is the first time I am revisiting it in 31 years.

"Both-And: Living the Christ-Centered Life in an Either-Or World" by Rich Nathan with Insoo Kim:  Both Rich and Insoo are pastors at my church.  This book describes what that church is all about.  Better read it.

That's my first step in a mindful Lent. May yours be peaceful and inspiring. 

Living in the Presence While Living in the Present

Christian mindfulness is the intersection of living in the presence of God and living in the present.  If that sounds simple, it's not.  It's a lifetime of spiritual practice.

While I've been striving for a while to practice Christian mindfulness, I'm sure I'm still walking the first steps of a journey that will take the rest of my life.  And I may not be that far alone when I hit the end.  But travel on, I must.  It is, in many ways, like the pearl of great price.  Once you've seen it, you are willing to sell everything to obtain it. 

It begins every moment in the now.  That may be the only what humans can find the living God.  The past is memory, and memory is often flawed.  The future is an imagining.  We can't find God there because it's not real.  So we look in the present moment.

Is God present with us there?  Yes.  Whether we know it or not.  And most of the time we don't.  So how can we sense God?  That's the question that takes a lifetime to answer.  Spiritual masters say we cultivate the presence of God (or more truthfully ... come to see the presence of God) by focusing on mind on him through continual prayer and aligning our will with His.  Also doing that will. 

I have a tendency to read a lot about this because it's easier to read it than to do it.  But I am moving forward slowly, very slowly.  

The spiritual masters also report that this type of grace isn't cheap.  If we want to experience daily, deep intimacy with God, sensing his practice and doing his work, we must wake every morning and carry our crosses.  The appropriate response to suffering is the fast track on long and difficult road to Christian mindfulness. And those who find it are few.  Let's try anyway.  

Mindful Piles

We are beginning to downsize. (Other than in the cat department.  We just got my mother-in-law's two kittens.  A story for another day.) Ken comes from a home that was on the cluttery side.  My house growing up was neat and clean, except for the packed closets.  

Together we are trying to be more mindful about our stuff, using some of the very basic rules: Throw something in the category out when you bring something in. Pick it up, don't pass it by. And so on. 

Now with our focus on mindfulness, I am working hard to become aware when I am creating a pile.  If it catch it when it is two things instead of seven, it's easier to put it away.

We face a long hard road into downsizing, but this can be the start. 

How Can I Make This Easier?

Simplifying my life for 2015 is under way with mindful attention to each activity. Honestly, I still don't like JUST eating when I could be eating and reading, but I take it on faith that it will pay off.

One helpful aspect of this is that I am actually paying enough attention to what I am doing so I can ask:  How Can I Make This Easier?  For example, updating a calendar.  Previously, I updated my iPhone calendar, my family wall calendar, my organizer two-pages-a-day and the calendar that my dad made me out of wood.  I realized that I spent a lot of time to know where I was supposed to be at what time.

So I stopped buying the family wall calendar and focused on the organizer two-pages-a-day and the iPhone for work only.  I also update Dad's calendar, but that's because Dad made it and he's gone to the Eternal Time Zone.  It's worth the two minutes.

Many folks laugh at my giant ever-so-80s organizer.  Yes, you write in it.  But I write everything it in: grocery lists, notes from phone calls, to do lists, where Grandma and Grandpa are buried, etc.  And I get to physically cross things out.  When we changed email systems at work, I actually knew when all MY meetings were. When I need a reference, I have all the notes about a certain day stored for three years. That's covered my rear more times than I care to count.

I tried to find some other person who prefers paper organizers.  When I Googled it, I got an article comparing Filofax to Blackberries and Outlook.  So I may well be in the minority here.

Nonetheless I've simplified a bit, cutting quite a lot of time out of planning my day.  Paying attention pointed out the right thing for me. So mindfulness does make simplifying easier. I'll let you know about the mindful eating.

12 Qualities of an Enlightened Person

This is a wonderful piece on the

12 Qualities of an Enlightened Person



Enjoy

Manage Your Mind

In a Zen way, I'm tempted to say: not time management, not productivity management, not energy management, not purpose management.  Instead manage the state of your mind. 

Marc Lesser 

I agree that, with God's help, we should concentrate on managing ourselves and our ever-roving, ever-fearful minds.  I also read a similar thought that we should not call our efforts to keep calm and centered "stress management," but rather "peace management." 

So many quotes I've put on my Pinterest boards on Tranquility, Simple Living and From God's Lips echo this idea: 

"Never be in a hurry. Do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset." - Francis de Sales

"If we practice mindfulness, we always have a place to be when we are afraid." - Thich Nhat Hanh 

"Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions." 

"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." - Dalai Lama 

"Peace is not the absence of troubles, but the presence of Christ." - Sheila Walsh 

Why Do This?

Today as I made a Crockpot version of Sunday gravy with pasta ... it was heavenly ... I realized that I have some specific reasons for focusing on a slowed down life of Christian mindfulness.  I want to feel as content as the monkey in the selfie.

1. I can enjoy cooking again.  No longer am I tearing through the kitchen, taking every shortcut possible to get dinner on the table in 30 minutes.  Even if dinner is a little later, I will enjoy the sights and the smells.  I even cut up a pineapple today to get some fruit, which hasn't happened probably since I had my first child 32 years ago. 
2. My blood pressure may actually stay low. This year's stress included some unpleasant physical symptoms for the first time:  blood pressure jumping all over the place, a numb thumb and vertigo. Being more intentional may actually keep my blood pressure where it needs to be.
3. I have time to think more creatively.  Instead of Solve the Problem, Solve the Problem, I can take time to think and come up with a creative solution. 
4. I can feel the Lord's presence.  This weekend the Lord has been prompting me to pray more specifically to feel his presence and to rest in it.  He has plans for me, and I'm willing to let Him take the lead. 
5. I'm not afraid ... at least when I am awake.  We may be facing a major life change, and mindfulness has allowed me to take one day at a time while we wait to see what happens.  I may still have nightmares about it, but the days are placid. 

A Slow New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve is a day and night filled with mindfulness.  It's really one of the first holidays that I addressed with intention, and habits that I developed decades ago still work well today.

On New Year's Eve, we begin by reading our journals for the year.  One year it made me realize how sick I was of my own whining. Another awful year, I could barely stand to review the pain of it all. But most years, I see fun and frustration in the written words.  I remember lessons learned, and it helps me to set intentions for the coming year.

Then, triumphs and crap-fests of the year fresh in our minds, we write out our Good Riddance lists.  Those are clearly the things we hated the most about the year.  We burn them in an ashtray left over from the old cigar days.  Then it's onward and upward.  Dinner includes unlimited potato chips and caviar.

Lately we have ended the day by attending the New Year's Eve Night Watch at our church ... which goes from 10:30 to midnight.  The sermon is powerful, the music is beautiful, and we pray and worship our way into the next years.

A Mindful Thanksgiving

I Googled "mindful Thanksgiving" and got plenty of advice - everything from "watch water boil" to "don't skip breakfast." Some of it was pretty good.

For example, Karen Maezen Miller suggested that you know where food comes from ("Kroger" doesn't count) and make a traditional family recipe.  Alexis Conason, Psy.D., called Thanksgiving "socially sanctioned binge eating" and suggested we savor every bite.

I choose to make Thanksgiving about gratitude, and that makes it a great holiday for me, no matter how anyone else acts.  Here are 10 thoughts:

1. Give money to the homeless shelter, and be thankful you're not living there.
2. Write out a list of your blessings.
3. Send Thanksgiving cards to the people who have been a blessing to you this year.  (And it doesn't have to be people you know.  If a blogger or writer or musician has kept you going, send a card!) 
4. Write out a list of reasons that you love your family members. 
5. Accept reality about Thanksgiving gatherings, and try to be amused, rather than disgusted (as Elvis Costello would say), about the goings-on. 
6. Spend time in nature unless nature is being brutal. 
7. Give your full attention to preparing food and infuse it with gratitude. 
8. Go to a church and thank God for your life. 
9. Adopt a World Vision child who needs your love and support.
10. Take breaks to breathe, pray and check in with yourself. 

When Christ Displaces Worry at the Center of Your Life

It is wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Philippians 4, The Message 

The Message translation of Philippians 4, in Eugene Peterson's Remix: Pause, a Daily Reading Bible, ends with this statement.  "This selection leaves you with a couple of assignments:  turn your worries into prayer, and meditate on God's best rather than on the ugly things of the world.

As Peterson translates it:  You'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.  

For me, taking capture every thought is so very hard.  It would be impossible without mindfulness.  How often before my practice did my mind go racing with me completely unaware that I could control its direction.  

Garbage in, garbage out, they say.  So mindfulness, plus a conscious effort to see and hear what is good, helps.  Conscious turning of the mind to praise, gratitude and petition also helps.  At some point, I pray my mind will be less of an out-of-control sled on an icy hill,  and more of a walk in the woods. 

The Day Begins

Perhaps it would be a good idea, fantastic as it sounds, to muffle every telephone, stop every motor and halt activity for an hour someday to give people a change to ponder for a few minutes on what it is all about, why they are living and what they really want. 

- James Truslow Adams

Is there anything better than Sunday afternoon in the three-day weekend?  Perhaps there is an hour to ponder about life, to think about what you really want and to prioritize. 

Even organization books call on you to list your top priorities and then evaluate your schedule against them. So what does the day look like if your top priority is to be conscious of the presence of God moment by moment?  It involves staying in the moment, step by step.  But without handrails, my steps would soon go off course. 

The intention to stay on course was undoubtedly the inspiration for the Liturgy of the Hours and other forms of monastic scheduling. I have adapted some of the ideas behind this to help me stay on course.  

It starts in the morning. When I awake, I do reach out to the Lord and remind myself that "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."  I wake early because we do 20 to 30 minutes of centering prayer followed by reading aloud from both the Old and New Testaments.  I pray over my schedule and take a moment to write a sentence or two in my prayer journal.  On days when we are able, I prepare a tranquil breakfast with love and we share it. 

The day begins.

The Music of the Night

Walking mindfully outdoors, even from my car to the office door, has helped me to hear some of the sounds of my childhood:  my friends, the crickets. We didn't have air conditioning when I was growing up.  We also didn't have the fear that causes people, including me, to lock things up tight at night.

As a child, when I went to bed in summer, the light was just starting to dim.  I heard crickets.  The fan in the room.  And my parents talking outside on the patio.

Listening mindfully at night, I can go back to those times when I felt perfectly safe with the windows wide open. Then I bring myself back into the present moment, and I know I am safer than I realize.

Letters from last year

This is a lesson that comes slowly to many people. They have too little patience with their nature's pace. There are too easily discouraged by their partial successes or repeated failures. In their immaturity, they are not willing to continue their efforts with such slow visible progress. They grow tired of reading the same matter, thinking the same thoughts, striving for the same virtues, and facing the same defects. They do not realize that as long as they are in this life, temptations will continue to face them. Labors will still require their attention and energy. Suffering of body, mind or soul will always be present in some degree.  Once when they have arrived before the judgment seat of God may they hope to hear the words: "Well Done, good and faithful servant." Only then will their task of striving for Christian perfection be over. 

Anthony J. Paone, S.J. 

A year ago, the pastor of the Support and Recovery Ministry had all of us working in the ministry fill out a form answering two questions:

1. What do you want to see God do IN you this year?
2. What do you want to see God do THROUGH you this year?  

A few days ago, I got an envelope in the mail from church containing my answers.

1.  In me ... Grant me the graces to deal with the crises without losing a sense of peace or my sense of humor.
2.  Through me ... Bring hope to the hopeless and encouragement to the discouraged.

My husband and I looked at our answers ... he filled it out, too.  And he said, "Well, I saw you bring hope to the hopeless and encouragement to the discouraged.  That actually did happen. And you did keep your sense of humor."

Keeping my sense of peace ... not so much. I immediately felt like I had failed, but the words from Anthony Paone, which I cut out and pasted on a card decades ago,  are a good reminder that we are never going to be 100% successful in our goals. My sense of peace is often tied to my ability to stay in the present moment.  So that's what I'll write on the card if asked about it this year at ministry kick-off.  

Ring! Ring!

The Proverbs 31 woman was not controlled by her circumstances and the demands of her family, her household, or her home business.  She was the ruler of her attitudes, her time and her schedule. Her relationship with God was central. All that she became was the result of her yielding to His sovereign control. 

Linda Dillow

"Calm My Anxious Heart" 

On today's Festive, Frugal Friday, I have been running from meeting to meeting. I want to yield, but I forget.  I even forget my plan to have a mindful pause every time the phone rings. 

That's been one of the hallmark practices of mindfulness.  I first heard it on a Thich Nhat Hanh CD.  Whenever you hear a bell ... the phone rings, the alarm, the bells at a school, the bells at a church ... take a moment to be mindful of God's presence.

It will help you to dwell in God's shelter, and as we all know:  "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of The Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." 

Forest Bathing

Yesterday we spent 90 minutes in forest bathing.  What???

Forest bathing is a Japanese practice for mindfulness and stress reduction.  It's basically walking quietly through a forest in the moment, observing it step by step, tree by tree.  Listening to the birds and the insects. The best time, of course, is when you can be more solitary.  Otherwise you hear comments like this one: "I looked up my mother-in-law's salary online."  Honest.

Try forest bathing when you are feeling stressed.  It might help!

Waiting for Hope

"Waiting with hope is very difficult, but true patience is expressed when we must even wait for hope.  I will have reached the point of greatest strength once I have learned to wait for hope." 

George Matheson

The difference between "mindfulness" and "Christian mindfulness" is practicing the presence of God.  In Christian mindfulness, we seek to remember God's presence moment by moment as we pay attention to one thing at a time.  

In the back of my mind on this Serene Sunday is disappointment, highlighted by the suicide of Robin Williams and the racial disturbances in St. Louis County.  It's the personal disappointment of prayers for my children's mental health that have been going on multiple times a day for 30 years.  And it's disappointment that so much racial hatred still exists.  I spent the first 10 years of my career in rural Mississippi observing it, and I spent the last year dealing with people in St. Louis County who said very racist things and then denied that they were racist. 

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick," Proverbs says. So this day I am going to realize that I can't possibly cure the mental health of my kids or solve racial issues in St. Louis County. I am going to spend my day waiting for hope. Trying to walk mindfully with the Lord on today's agenda:  a long walk in the forest to visit eagles nesting on the river, a trip to a giant book store, "Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss"  (the Christmas Story family goes on vacation ... it's on YouTube and it's one of my favorite movies).  I pray as I walk conscious of the Lord that his hope will seep back into my soul.

What God Inspires

"God would not inspire a wish that could not be realized."

30 Day with a Great Spiritual Master:

Simply Surrender based on the Little Way of Therese of Lisieux

It is Simple Living Saturday:  The tasks are basic.  Clean. Launder. Shop for food.

All comes at the end of dark week that has knocked me off center.  Robin Williams, whom I quoted about living with mental illness and even suicide, has taken his own life.  I imagine he is surprised to see the level of grief.  Both of my children had very tough weeks without this ... my son's best friend moved away and my daughter had serious job trauma.  At one point I had my son on my cell phone in my right ear and my daughter on the land line in my left eye.

How does one deal with this mindfully?  Good question. Rest. Pray. Listen to God through Scripture and Scripture-based inspiration. And walk left foot, right foot, like my pastor, Rich Nathan, says.  God has inspired a wish that I live in Christian mindfulness.  He will show me the way.

Seeing Ourselves as We Are, Being Tolerant of Others

It's Frugal Festive Friday when we ask God for more of the gifts of faithfulness and gentleness.  I really need this today, as we come to the end of an exhausting week. Tonight, as we gather with our small group, we will seek to be a source of light.  My light is a little dim!!!

This is also a day when I focus on the virtue of tolerance, and boy do we need it.  I spent a very difficult summer and fall dealing with people who were totally racist and yet had convinced themselves that they weren't.  I'm sure it comes as a shock that these folks lived in St. Louis County, where bedlam has been raging over the shooting of an unharmed black kid. Having seen so much racism close up while working at a reporter in Mississippi and helping the poor get housing, I know how important tolerance is. Drive it down into my soul even more, O Lord. Help us to slow ourselves down so we can see the places where we do not love.