Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A Slow New Year's Eve



New Year's Eve is a day and night filled with mindfulness.  It's really one of the first holidays that I addressed with intention, and habits that I developed decades ago still work well today.

On New Year's Eve, we begin by reading our journals for the year.  One year it made me realize how sick I was of my own whining. Another awful year, I could barely stand to review the pain of it all. But most years, I see fun and frustration in the written words.  I remember lessons learned, and it helps me to set intentions for the coming year.

Then, triumphs and crap-fests of the year fresh in our minds, we write out our Good Riddance lists.  Those are clearly the things we hated the most about the year.  We burn them in an ashtray left over from the old cigar days.  Then it's onward and upward.  Dinner includes unlimited potato chips and caviar.

Lately we have ended the day by attending the New Year's Eve Night Watch at our church ... which goes from 10:30 to midnight.  The sermon is powerful, the music is beautiful, and we pray and worship our way into the next years.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

A Mindful Thanksgiving





I Googled "mindful Thanksgiving" and got plenty of advice - everything from "watch water boil" to "don't skip breakfast." Some of it was pretty good.

For example, Karen Maezen Miller suggested that you know where food comes from ("Kroger" doesn't count) and make a traditional family recipe.  Alexis Conason, Psy.D., called Thanksgiving "socially sanctioned binge eating" and suggested we savor every bite.

I choose to make Thanksgiving about gratitude, and that makes it a great holiday for me, no matter how anyone else acts.  Here are 10 thoughts:
  1. Give money to the homeless shelter, and be thankful you're not living there.
  2. Write out a list of your blessings.
  3. Send Thanksgiving cards to the people who have been a blessing to you this year.  (And it doesn't have to be people you know.  If a blogger or writer or musician has kept you going, send a card!) 
  4. Write out a list of reasons that you love your family members. 
  5. Accept reality about Thanksgiving gatherings, and try to be amused, rather than disgusted (as Elvis Costello would say), about the goings-on. 
  6. Spend time in nature unless nature is being brutal. 
  7. Give your full attention to preparing food and infuse it with gratitude. 
  8. Go to a church and thank God for your life. 
  9. Adopt a World Vision child who needs your love and support.
  10. Take breaks to breathe, pray and check in with yourself. 






Sunday, October 26, 2014

When Christ Displaces Worry at the Center of Your Life

It is wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Philippians 4, The Message 

The Message translation of Philippians 4, in Eugene Peterson's Remix: Pause, a Daily Reading Bible, ends with this statement.  "This selection leaves you with a couple of assignments:  turn your worries into prayer, and meditate on God's best rather than on the ugly things of the world.

As Peterson translates it:  You'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.  

For me, taking capture every thought is so very hard.  It would be impossible without mindfulness.  How often before my practice did my mind go racing with me completely unaware that I could control its direction.  

Garbage in, garbage out, they say.  So mindfulness, plus a conscious effort to see and hear what is good, helps.  Conscious turning of the mind to praise, gratitude and petition also helps.  At some point, I pray my mind will be less of an out-of-control sled on an icy hill,  and more of a walk in the woods. 

Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Day Begins






Perhaps it would be a good idea, fantastic as it sounds, to muffle every telephone, stop every motor and halt activity for an hour someday to give people a change to ponder for a few minutes on what it is all about, why they are living and what they really want. 

- James Truslow Adams

Is there anything better than Sunday afternoon in the three-day weekend?  Perhaps there is an hour to ponder about life, to think about what you really want and to prioritize. 

Even organization books call on you to list your top priorities and then evaluate your schedule against them. So what does the day look like if your top priority is to be conscious of the presence of God moment by moment?  It involves staying in the moment, step by step.  But without handrails, my steps would soon go off course. 

The intention to stay on course was undoubtedly the inspiration for the Liturgy of the Hours and other forms of monastic scheduling. I have adapted some of the ideas behind this to help me stay on course.  

It starts in the morning. When I awake, I do reach out to the Lord and remind myself that "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."  I wake early because we do 20 to 30 minutes of centering prayer followed by reading aloud from both the Old and New Testaments.  I pray over my schedule and take a moment to write a sentence or two in my prayer journal.  On days when we are able, I prepare a tranquil breakfast with love and we share it. 

The day begins.



Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Music of the Night




Walking mindfully outdoors, even from my car to the office door, has helped me to hear some of the sounds of my childhood:  my friends, the crickets. We didn't have air conditioning when I was growing up.  We also didn't have the fear that causes people, including me, to lock things up tight at night.

As a child, when I went to bed in summer, the light was just starting to dim.  I heard crickets.  The fan in the room.  And my parents talking outside on the patio.

Listening mindfully at night, I can go back to those times when I felt perfectly safe with the windows wide open. Then I bring myself back into the present moment, and I know I am safer than I realize.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Letters from last year




This is a lesson that comes slowly to many people. They have too little patience with their nature's pace. There are too easily discouraged by their partial successes or repeated failures. In their immaturity, they are not willing to continue their efforts with such slow visible progress. They grow tired of reading the same matter, thinking the same thoughts, striving for the same virtues, and facing the same defects. They do not realize that as long as they are in this life, temptations will continue to face them. Labors will still require their attention and energy. Suffering of body, mind or soul will always be present in some degree.  Once when they have arrived before the judgment seat of God may they hope to hear the words: "Well Done, good and faithful servant." Only then will their task of striving for Christian perfection be over. 
Anthony J. Paone, S.J. 

A year ago, the pastor of the Support and Recovery Ministry had all of us working in the ministry fill out a form answering two questions:
  1. What do you want to see God do IN you this year?
  2. What do you want to see God do THROUGH you this year?  
A few days ago, I got an envelope in the mail from church containing my answers.

1.  In me ... Grant me the graces to deal with the crises without losing a sense of peace or my sense of humor.
2.  Through me ... Bring hope to the hopeless and encouragement to the discouraged.

My husband and I looked at our answers ... he filled it out, too.  And he said, "Well, I saw you bring hope to the hopeless and encouragement to the discouraged.  That actually did happen. And you did keep your sense of humor."

Keeping my sense of peace ... not so much. I immediately felt like I had failed, but the words from Anthony Paone, which I cut out and pasted on a card decades ago,  are a good reminder that we are never going to be 100% successful in our goals. My sense of peace is often tied to my ability to stay in the present moment.  So that's what I'll write on the card if asked about it this year at ministry kick-off.  

Friday, August 22, 2014

Ring! Ring!

The Proverbs 31 woman was not controlled by her circumstances and the demands of her family, her household, or her home business.  She was the ruler of her attitudes, her time and her schedule. Her relationship with God was central. All that she became was the result of her yielding to His sovereign control. 
Linda Dillow
"Calm My Anxious Heart" 

On today's Festive, Frugal Friday, I have been running from meeting to meeting. I want to yield, but I forget.  I even forget my plan to have a mindful pause every time the phone rings. 

That's been one of the hallmark practices of mindfulness.  I first heard it on a Thich Nhat Hanh CD.  Whenever you hear a bell ... the phone rings, the alarm, the bells at a school, the bells at a church ... take a moment to be mindful of God's presence.

It will help you to dwell in God's shelter, and as we all know:  "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of The Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." 



Monday, August 18, 2014

Forest Bathing


Yesterday we spent 90 minutes in forest bathing.  What???

Forest bathing is a Japanese practice for mindfulness and stress reduction.  It's basically walking quietly through a forest in the moment, observing it step by step, tree by tree.  Listening to the birds and the insects. The best time, of course, is when you can be more solitary.  Otherwise you hear comments like this one: "I looked up my mother-in-law's salary online."  Honest.

Try forest bathing when you are feeling stressed.  It might help!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Waiting for Hope

"Waiting with hope is very difficult, but true patience is expressed when we must even wait for hope.  I will have reached the point of greatest strength once I have learned to wait for hope." 


George Matheson

The difference between "mindfulness" and "Christian mindfulness" is practicing the presence of God.  In Christian mindfulness, we seek to remember God's presence moment by moment as we pay attention to one thing at a time.  

In the back of my mind on this Serene Sunday is disappointment, highlighted by the suicide of Robin Williams and the racial disturbances in St. Louis County.  It's the personal disappointment of prayers for my children's mental health that have been going on multiple times a day for 30 years.  And it's disappointment that so much racial hatred still exists.  I spent the first 10 years of my career in rural Mississippi observing it, and I spent the last year dealing with people in St. Louis County who said very racist things and then denied that they were racist. 

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick," Proverbs says. So this day I am going to realize that I can't possibly cure the mental health of my kids or solve racial issues in St. Louis County. I am going to spend my day waiting for hope. Trying to walk mindfully with the Lord on today's agenda:  a long walk in the forest to visit eagles nesting on the river, a trip to a giant book store, "Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss"  (the Christmas Story family goes on vacation ... it's on YouTube and it's one of my favorite movies).  I pray as I walk conscious of the Lord that his hope will seep back into my soul.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

What God Inspires

"God would not inspire a wish that could not be realized."
30 Day with a Great Spiritual Master:
Simply Surrender based on the Little Way of Therese of Lisieux

It is Simple Living Saturday:  The tasks are basic.  Clean. Launder. Shop for food.

All comes at the end of dark week that has knocked me off center.  Robin Williams, whom I quoted about living with mental illness and even suicide, has taken his own life.  I imagine he is surprised to see the level of grief.  Both of my children had very tough weeks without this ... my son's best friend moved away and my daughter had serious job trauma.  At one point I had my son on my cell phone in my right ear and my daughter on the land line in my left eye.

How does one deal with this mindfully?  Good question. Rest. Pray. Listen to God through Scripture and Scripture-based inspiration. And walk left foot, right foot, like my pastor, Rich Nathan, says.  God has inspired a wish that I live in Christian mindfulness.  He will show me the way.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Seeing Ourselves as We Are, Being Tolerant of Others

It's Frugal Festive Friday when we ask God for more of the gifts of faithfulness and gentleness.  I really need this today, as we come to the end of an exhausting week. Tonight, as we gather with our small group, we will seek to be a source of light.  My light is a little dim!!!

This is also a day when I focus on the virtue of tolerance, and boy do we need it.  I spent a very difficult summer and fall dealing with people who were totally racist and yet had convinced themselves that they weren't.  I'm sure it comes as a shock that these folks lived in St. Louis County, where bedlam has been raging over the shooting of an unharmed black kid. Having seen so much racism close up while working at a reporter in Mississippi and helping the poor get housing, I know how important tolerance is. Drive it down into my soul even more, O Lord. Help us to slow ourselves down so we can see the places where we do not love.


Sunday, August 10, 2014

Your Toolkit to Be an Instrument of Peace: Boundaries

Effective boundaries are held by being kind, gentle, respectful and firm.  Boundaries are your value system in action. 

Gary and Joy Lundberg

Today is Serene Sunday when we focus on the Holy Spirit's movement on love in our lives. We refresh our spirits so we can be an instrument of God's peace.  To be an instrument of peace requires setting boundaries, which is a challenge for so many of us.  We need the gift of self-discipline to make and keep those boundaries.

This is important as we strive to do God's will in our actions.  Frankly lots of people would prefer for us to to Their will.  Thus the need for boundaries.

When making a decision, ask these questions:

  1. Is it Biblically sound?
  2. Will this glorify God?
  3. Will this advance the kingdom of God?
  4. Will this help people?
  5. Will this help me to grow spiritually? 

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Simple Living Saturday: Feeling God's Peace

Since I - the Prince of Peace - am both with and without you, you can choose to live from this peaceful place of union with me. This enables you to stay calm in the midst of stressful situations, by re-centering yourself in Me.  We can deal with your problems together - you and I - so there's no need to panic. However, the more difficult your circumstances, the more tempting it is for you to shift into high gear and forget My peaceful Presence.

Sarah Young
"Jesus Today"


Today is Simple Living Saturday, when we ask for more of the spiritual gift of self-control.  (I guess I should put down the Jelly Bellies.)  We seek to be an instrument of God's joy, blessing our homes with order and having fun with our families in simplicity.  When our minds wander today, we will recenter them on God's presence.

I once had a little ornament that said, "The Lord never panics." I inwardly panic all the time, and I have the medicine bottle to prove it.  Today I am going to pick a sound that normally means trouble ... my cell phone ringing ... use it to refocus briefly on the Lord's presence before answering the phone. I ask for the grace of self-control to remember to do this.














Sunday, June 1, 2014

Letting Go


"I let go of everything and everybody that is no longer part of God's plan for me.  I forgive and move forward with the light of God guiding me.  I release negativity.  I have all the energy I need to live my life's purpose. I have all the energy I need for myself and my family."

I wrote this quote down years ... maybe even, decades ... ago.  It's part of a series called "Mirror God."  That may sound pretentious, but it fits with my life purpose.  As you may know, many years ago I asked God to show me my life purpose.  What I saw was a lighthouse.  A lighthouse is most important when it's storming.  It shines a light to guide and stays steady.  A lighthouse does not go out into the sea, pick up the ships and bring them back to the shore. It shines a light.

Being willing to let go of things that are not God's plan has been costly.  I've let go of everything from Real Housewives to Catholicism.  I need to focus more on choosing to be happy and, if God's grace permits, holy.  If I do so mindfully, I will have the energy I need.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

A Mindful Hike in the Spring

Living next to a Metro Park has always been a blessing.  The kids grew up there, rolling down the grass hills, looking for minnows in the creek, posting for their senior pictures amidst the trees. It's become an even greater blessing in minding our health.

The Seventh Day Adventists are the healthiest of Americans - vegetarians who have deep community and a respect for health.  Their health habits have made them Blue Zone people who live longer than the average American.  Since we are pescatarians, we looked into the other habits, and we discovered, to our delight, the Seventh Day Adventists often take nature walks during Sabbath day. So we have started a mindful nature walk, i.e. hike, each Sunday afternoon.

Today's hike was at Highbanks Metro Park, a short drive away, where you can see the bald eagle family guarding their nest at the observation deck. 

The hike is hilly, so my thoughts were not always centered on the spiritual nature, but they were mindful.  Sad to see so many ash trees chopped down and riddled with ash borer trails. Happy to see raccoon paw prints by the stream. Curious to look at the droppings filled with some unfortunate creature's fur left on the trail. Is it from a fox? Or a coyote?

A mindful walk is a blessing, and it does give you calm.  The one at Highbanks also ate up 619 calories, which I have made up for since.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Mother Teresa Says "Sshhh!"

Mother Teresa has become an even bigger role model for me since I read her schedule and her attitude about work not getting done. I read this in Conversion Diary, Jennifer Fulwider's wonderful blog. In a previous post, Jennifer wrote that she had learned that Mother Teresa did not feel overwhelmed ... even when faced with all the poor to help, all the work to do.  Her attitude was that God would not ask you to do work that he didn't give you the time and resources to do. "So be at peace."

Mother Teresa's life was about loving God and loving the poor.  She spent time with both equally as her daily schedule reflects.


Daily Schedule for the Missionaries of Charity
4:30-5:00 Rise and get cleaned up
5:00-6:30 Prayers and Mass
6:30-8:00 Breakfast and cleanup
8:00-12:30 Work for the poor
12:30-2:30 Lunch and rest
2:30-3:00 Spiritual reading and meditation
3:00-3:15 Tea break
3:15-4:30 Adoration
4:30-7:30 Work for the poor
7:30-9:00 Dinner and clean up
9:00-9:45 Night prayers
9:45 Bedtime
Somehow, working 7-1/2 hours a day for the poor, she got a lot done. So should we fret about being overwhelmed, not getting it all done.  Mother Teresa would say "Sshhh."

Mother Teresa didn't just seek a lack of whining.  She also wrote beautifully about why we need quiet:

"We cannot find God in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how Nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence. ... The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. We need silence to be able to touch souls. For the essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and through us."

Amen.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

STOP ... a Mindfulness Tool





Kimberly Wilson, dear to my heart as the Hip Tranquil Chick, and her boyfriend took a cross-country road trip in their vintage camper this fall, holding Tranquility Popups everywhere from Richmond to Portland.  The saga was covered on her wonderful blog and podcast Tranquility du Jour.  I learned two things that are helpful to my journey.

1. Don't get a vintage camper, no matter how cute. 

We will rent something a bit more conventional for our cross-country adventure.



2.  Use the STOP tranquility technique.  I've altered it to fit my Christian approach to mindfulness.  When confronted with a problem or a tense moment, STOP:
  • Stop
  • Take three breaths.  Three counts in, four counts to hold and five counts to exhale.
  • Observe with love.
  • Pray, put on the mind of Christ and proceed under grace. 

I like it.  Thanks, Kimberly.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

A Mindful Cold

"May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.  May you be confident knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

St. Theresa

Where I am today is getting over a cold that I've decided was actually some kind of flu.  Which is great since I got a flu shot for the first time in decades this year.

I had a couple of  no-kidding deadlines this week, so I had to haul myself into work when it was roughly 1 degree and icy.  I stayed home on Wednesday in the midst of a snowstorm, originally planning to work from home.  But taking three naps isn't really a work day, so I ended up taking it as sick time.

Being mindful of illness actually is allowing yourself to be more gentle with yourself... as least as far as I'm concerned.  I've had very little patience with the need to rest and hydrate during my life, and I've always powered through. In the '80s, I went on a work trip to Florida, concealing the fact that I had scarlet fever.  Mindful or not, that was pretty stupid and inconsiderate.

So now I am listening to a body that's been screaming at me for decades.  I will be nice to me today.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Take Your Mind to Work Week... a Challenge


The 5-Day Mindful at Work Challenge, developed by the Huffington Post and the Institute for Mindful Leadership, starts this Monday and ends on Friday, Jan. 31.  If you sign up here, you get tips and support on bringing mindfulness to your work life.  Do you need them? 

Here are some questions that the challenge developers offer to gather how mindful you are at work:
  1. When you get to work, do you remember how you got there?
  2. When you finish eating your lunch, do you remember eating your lunch? 
  3. At the end of the work day, do you think you accomplished anything?
  4. It's almost the end of January.  Do you remember January?
  5. Do you pay attention in meetings?
  6. When you are home, do you worry about work?
  7. When you are introduced to new people, do you remember their names?
  8. Have you ever driven past the exit to work? 
I thought so.  Me, too.  I signed up, and hope you do, too.


Sunday, January 19, 2014

Hello in There

My adventure in Christian mindfulness has begun to open up more awareness of my own head.  As John Prine would say, "Hello in there, hello."

It's been interesting to say the least. Several times, I've been able to deal with a feeling of being overwhelmed with work requests by concentrating on my breathing and watching the anxious feelings come and finally go.  Interesting.  I feel I really am doing as much work as possible, and getting myself in a centered mode helps me to maximize it.  Yet the "Oh no, I'm going to let someone down" feeling has always been hard for me.  Now I know that it can ebb away, and that part of me is always calm.

Then there's looking backwards with sadness.  One of the aspects of having a daughter who writes a lot of autobiographical pieces is that you find out things you didn't know.  I bought copies of the two "Rookie" yearbooks, which feature her writing.  But I haven't been able to get myself beyond the first article, in which she talked about her wretched high school years.

I found that she had two major incidents in the high school cafeteria ... that seat of evil.  Kids were cruel to her in a public, obvious way twice. She never told me about that. When I read the story, I just felt so sad, so sick to my stomach. Now, this was at least 13 years ago.  (We eventually pulled her out of that high school to be homeschooled, and thank God we did.) But I still feel such emotion when I learned about it.

I left the book alone for a few weeks, and now I know I need to go back and read it.  It is, indeed, the first published book containing work from my daughter. This time I will be a little more aware that it may contain information that will upset me. So I hope to read with mindfulness, perhaps by being aware that this is in the past and there is nothing I can do about it.  When I get upset, I will stop reading and breathe.  Let's see if it works.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Just Say Thanks

Ever prayed for the same thing over and over again?  Since the '80s?

I have.  Sometimes you feel that you are supposed to.  You are praying persistently like the nagging widow that Jesus said.  But it can become a faith issue over the decades.

Today's "Jesus Calling" app meditation by the wonderful Sarah Young gave me some new perspective.   Yes, we are supposed to speak our hearts clearly to the Lord.  And then thank Him for handling it.   But:  "When your requests come to mind again, continue to thank Me for the answers that are on the way.  If you keep on stating your concerns to Me, you will live in a state of tension. When you thank Me for how I am answering your prayers, your mindset becomes much more positive. Thankful prayers keep your focus on My Presence and My promises."

I love this.  It's much better than praying:  "Lord, in case I haven't mentioned this in the last hour, so-and-so still needs healing"   I am hoping that focusing on trust and gratitude will make me be less like my friend below:

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Simply Frozen

It's coming.  You can see the deep purple on the Weather Channel map.  Cold is coming.

Trying to take a mindful Christian approach to this is impacting me three ways:
  1. Lots of prayer that it won't be so cold so I can get to work without being afraid.
  2. Trying to observe the beauty of winter:  the clear night sky filled with stars, the white mounds of snow.
  3. Working to keep my own natural irritability about winter inside so I'm not as snappy as the wind.
It's a good time to hibernate, but I don't get to.  I have a meeting this afternoon, and lots tomorrow and Tuesday.  So I need to stay focused on keeping my inner peace.  Here's hoping.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Simple Living Calendar

 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 
- Jeremiah 29:11


I am a lot like this dog. Not so sure that the plans are something I'd like.  But I am determined to have a mindful year.

So far this New Year's Day, I've had mindful filling-out-of-the-calendar, mindful cooking, a mindful conversation with my beloved daughter and mindful eating of Salt & Pepper potato chips.  YUM.

I also discovered a link to a perpetual calendar that I bought a decade or so ago:  The Simpler Living Alternatives Calendar for Any Year.   You might like it as well.

Alternatives, a Christian organization that supported a mindful simplicity lifestyle, has ceased to exist. Which is sad, because we need it more than ever. The good news: A podcast using the Alternative simplicity materials is now available through iTunes: Simple Living Works! podcast.

We hear so many voices from the materialism side of life and from non-compassionate "Christians" that we need a diet of thoughts from those who listen a little more deeply to the Lord. The podcast and the calendar can help.